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Five fake stars. Everyone who went and goes to Turkey is dedicated to rest …

The first note under this title received comments and approving, and abusive. Some swore like this: hey, went to Turkey, and now he is making a public problem out of his petty private problem. No, vacation in Turkey is not a small and private matter. Last year more than 500 thousand Russians and Ukrainians rested there. If a thousand dollars from the nose – comes out 500 million. With shopping – a billion dollars.

All excitedly discussing the billion spent by the oligarch. And our own billion dollars isn’t more important? If we pay such money, then, probably, we have the right to demand quality and politeness. Moreover, our undemandingness spoils Turkey. Why should they try if it does? Another five years – and we will bring Antalya to the Sochi and the Crimean ugliness, dirt and rudeness.

We flew to the hot Antalya. Visa, luggage, bus and – here it is, the five-star, “God K – and” hotel, which is buried in palm trees and eucalyptus trees, is all included, alcohol round the clock. The clerk finished our suitcase, unlocked the door of the room – from there hit the heat, as if from a sauna. Employee in Russian or boom boom. Nothing, we’ll manage with gestures. I blow myself away, shaking a shirt on my chest (ventilated).

He immediately understood, took the key with a rectangular tag attached to it, stuck the tag in a special crack, and – the air conditioner started working, cold air poured over us through the grille in the ceiling – super! They seized swimming trunks, ran to the sea. And behind the heated our room. As soon as you take out a tag with a key from the cracks (to lock the door behind you), the air conditioner turns off. Save. We swam, had supper, came to the hot room, stuck the tag in the crack, it was cold at once, great, now in the shower and sleep. Super!

Woke up at night from the sticky heat. The air conditioner broke. And broke the most foul way. The refrigerator was dead, and the fan worked and drove the wet hot stuffiness into the room. Turned off the fan, tormented until the morning. Then the sea, breakfast, again the sea – super!

At noon, we left the scorching sun, reached the “reception”, barely interpreted (with gestures), got us to change the number, drag the suitcase, put the tag in the crack, the cold went right away – super! At night, woke up wet from sweat. Sticky hot stuffiness rushing from the air conditioner. Five Stars! “Gd K – and”, his mother! I call in “reception”, swear. They finally found an aboriginal who knows Russian: – This is not your problem. This is alles ordnung hotel.

That is not the air conditioner broke, but such an order. They turn out to turn off the refrigerator themselves. Every night! Five stars! .. Boiled, we trample on the beach, then for breakfast, then leave the child for good acquaintances, I go to understand. They explained: the cold is turned off at midnight and – until noon. Because, as it seems to them, it is not hot at night. Then, from noon until midnight, the cold comes, the room cools down, and we have to turn off the air conditioner fan at midnight so that it does not drive the heat to us, and then the accumulated coolness will last until morning.

It looks like communism: in theory, fine, in practice – complete … They really give me cold from noon. But while we are not in the room, until the tag is stuck in the hole … Well, we – and not go to the sea? Sitting all day, studding a room to sleep at night? But Soviet people know how to get around any kind of reception. Breaking my nails, I unhooked the tag from the key, stuck it in, and we proudly went to the beach, hearing the fan hums behind the locked door, driving the cold.

Come after dinner – sticky heat, air conditioning is off. I look: the beds are cleaned – yeah, the maid came in, put things in order, did not touch the unfastened tag in the slot, just pressed “off”. I pressed “on”, the cold went away, and my head finally got an understanding of life. That’s just not easy to explain. Be careful.

The cold comes from 12.00 to 24.00. It is disconnected centrally. A fan is constantly running. You turn it off. If you and the child do not go to nightly discos, but go to bed at 10 pm (to go to the sea early in the morning), then at midnight you need to wake up to turn off the fan, which at that time begins to drive heat. Well, we set the alarm clock?

If you unhook the tag and put it in the crack (so that the cold will go while you are dancing at the night disco), then when you arrive at two o’clock in the morning, you will have sticky stuffiness that the fan will have time to pump from midnight. And if you open the balcony door for the night, as advised by the reception, then the heat will indeed be smaller, but experienced mosquitoes stand behind the balcony door, burst in immediately. Choose yourself what to do at night – sweat or itch …

Those who immediately and densely lean on the trump card of the five-star “Gd K” – alcohol around the clock are right. They continue to whip on the beach. And the sea to their knees, and the heat on … let’s say, fig, and mosquitoes. … And why is it so difficult for us to explain with the reception? And why is it so easy for Germans? We are there more than the Germans. And our money is no worse. But more about that next time.

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The first note under this title received comments and approving, and abusive. Some swore like this: hey, went to Turkey, and now he is making a public problem out of…

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